Monica Carpenter's Testimony

I have to start by saying that I grew up in a very christian home and went to church on a regular basis. I attended youth group, Church camp, I was also involved in the Choir and Singsparations.

Singing seems to be my way of releaving stress in my life and it helps me to rejoice in the lord...

Well I have had a lot of tribulations in my life.. I left the Church after graduating high school and moved to the big city. (You see, I grew up in a very small town of 300 people..) I believed, I just strayed.. I ended up getting pregnant at a very early age of 18 with my oldest son.

I then met my ex husband, who became very abusive towards me and both of my children that are still living..

In 1995 I gave birth to a little girl Kaitlynne Sherre, she was born with a disease called Truncus Arteriosis. Which is a disease of the Heart. She underwent several tests, and they put her on all sorts of breathing machines, and feeding tubes. It was horrible!!

I prayed so much for her, I had long conversations with the Hospital Chaplain and prayed together for her. Kaitie's Surgery was on Memorial Day 1995 and I was in fear for the worst.. 4 hours of praying had past, and the Nursing staff had come to tell me things had taken a turn for the worse but that they were still trying to save her... I prayed so hard, and cried for her.

Another 4 hours had past and there was nothing else that the surgeons could possibly do for except to put her on an EGMO machine to oxegenate her blood and put it back in her... a few hours went by and she was loosing more blood than she was recieving and my ex husband had made the decision to turn the machines off and let nature take its coarse.

I have never prayed so hard in my entire life.... they handed the fragile body to me and we both prayed. ( I do feel she was praying with me)) I prayed to God to not take my little girl from me .. and to let her live. I cried... my heart was torn apart, my little girl wanted permission to go to God.. and I had to let her go.

I had a really hard time with depression and life in general after this, I blamed God for a very long time, not only for her death, but for the other things that have happened in my life such as the domestic violence, my kids getting abused and living in the situations that I have been in.

I have just come to realize that maybe if I take these things to the Lord maybe thats all I need to do... I once loved God and praised him every moment of my life, And I intend to do that Again... God didn't punish me for anything but rather; He took away Kaitie's suffering and made her whole gain... she lives in all of us, she is the first shining star that I see at night, she is in my heart, she is in my soul.. And I will see her again some day!!

"I will never leave you or forsake you" Hebrews 13:5

God Bless,
Monica Carpenter