AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he "lacked intellectual leadership". He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.


WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out and give himself up.


WHAT WAS PLAN B?
An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.


SOME DAYS, IT JUST DOESN'T PAY TO GNAW THROUGH THE STRAPS!
ire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of a blaze that destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in and stole my new security system.."

THE GETAWAY!

A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop, and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

DO-IT-YOURSELF BRAIN SURGERY??

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.(I'll bet his brain really was stolen!)


DID I SAY THAT???

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"


ARE WE COMMUNICATING??

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

Back to the funnies!