English Definitions That Didn't Make it to the Dictionary

1. Abdicate - v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

2. Balderdash - n., a rapidly receding hairline.

3. Bustard - n., a very rude school bus driver.

4. Carcinoma - n., a valley in California, noted for its heavy smog.

5. Circumvent - n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

6. Coffee - n., a person who is coughed upon.

7. Esplanade - v., to attempt an explanation while drunk.

8. Flabbergasted - adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained.

9. Flatulence - n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Gargoyle - n., an olive-flavored mouthwash.

11. Lymph - v., to walk with a lisp.

12. Marionettes - n., residents of Washington, DC who have been jerked around by the former mayor.

13. Negligent - adj., a kindly man in ladies sleepwear.

14. Oyster - n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions.

15. Rectitude - n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

16. Semantics - n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before Vespers.

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