Golf, Defined

GOLF, n.

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

[2] a game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.

[3] a colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red.

[4] a game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort.

[5] a game a lot like taxation - you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole.

GOLF CART, n.

[1] A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker.

GOLFER, n.

[1] a person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five;

[2] a guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.

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