How to keep a healthy level of insanity.
    1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer
    at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

    3) Insist that your e mail address is: or

    4) Every time someone asks you to do something,
    ask if they want fries with that.

    5) Encourage your colleagues to
    join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.

    6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

    7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

    8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
    Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
    switch to espresso.

    9) In the memo field of all your cheques, write 'for sexual favors.'

    10) Reply to everything someone says with,
    "That's what you think."

    11) Finish all your sentences with
    "In accordance with the prophecy."

    12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level
    lights up the entire work area.
    Insist to others that you like it that way.

    13) Dont use any punctuation

    14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

    15) Ask people what sex they are.

    16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    17) Sing - along at the opera.

    18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

    19) Find out where your boss shops and
    buy exactly the same outfits.
    Wear them one day after your boss does.
    (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

    20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to
    tell them what you're doing.
    For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom.

    21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

    22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their
    party because you're not in the mood.

    23) Call 000 and ask if 000 is for emergencies.

    24) Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

    25) Have your co-workers address you
    by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

    26) When the money comes out
    of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!".
    "3rd time this week!!!".

    27) When leaving the Zoo, start running
    towards the parking lot, yelling
    "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

    28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices
    in my head that bother me, its the voices
    in your head that do"

    29) Tell your children over dinner.
    "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

    30) Every time you see a broom yell, "Honey, your mother is here".
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A Life Transformed
I lived my life with reckless abandon, like there would be, no tomorrow. I lived life on the edge, engaging death as a playmate. If death came, then that too, I'd hoped in it's finality, would be the ultimate experience I craved. Maybe in death, I could finally realize the meaning of life.

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