Politically Correct Statements

    Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

    Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

    You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

    You're not having a bad hair day, you're suffering from "rebellious follicle syndrome."

    No one's tall anymore. He's "vertically enhanced."

    You're not shy. You're "conversationally selective."

    You don't talk a lot. You're just "abundantly verbal."

    It's not called gossip anymore. It's "the speedy transmission of near-factual information."


    The food at the school cafeteria isn't awful. It's "digestively challenged."

    No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

    You don't have detention, you're just one of the "exit delayed."

    These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

    Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

    Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

    You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

    You don't have smelly gym socks, you have "odor-retentive athletic footwear."

    You weren't passing notes in class. You were "participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations."

    You're not being sent to the principal's office. You're "going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building."

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